Everyone at COOL’EH clowned me because I dont know how to work the effin link function. That’s all anyone seems to care about now, links, links, links, links, anything to escape from reading an entire paragraph at once. Apparently every single American has ADD now. You can thank Al Gore for inventing the internet. Thanks to the Information Super Highway we will soon no longer have books, newspapers, magazines, albums, movies, offices, sex, friendships or delivery menus…all of those will be replaced by Instant Messaging and Craigslist.
So heres to the devolution of language and the comforting cocoon of random distraction. I thought this would be a good time to talk about all the people who got mad that I said Dirk Nowitzki is a white Kevin Garnett. Its understandable that they are mad, Im sure I would be mad if I rooted for tall players with no heart too. Gimme Manute Bol any day. Speaking of Africa, what the fuck is Robert Gabriel Mugabe doing now? Angolan troops? I seriously want to ask the guy what the fuck is the plan, because right now its like an episode of Lost, I got a feeling that nobody knows what the fuck is happening. Shit makes no sense. Kinda like this. But Uncle Murda knows how to deal with police. In fact, that appears to be the only subject Uncle Murda knows about. These days things are tough for cops, they can’t seem to catch any breaks when they murder unarmed negroids. Just kidding, we all know they are not going to do a day in jail. Although beating white women to the floor on camera is another story, methinks Officer Abbate is about to be lunchmeat. The residents of Pakistan’s “tribal areas” dont take kindly to policing either, and after whipping the Pakistani Army the local Taliban appear to now be fed up with Al Queda. Taliban VS. Al Queda, sounds like a Capcom arcade game…if you can’t make heads or tails of all these backward places just buy a t-shirt. That’ll show them who’s boss. Americaaaaa…fuck yeah!Back to the Afghan border though, the term “lawless” is used for good reason in those parts, maybe Uncle Murda needs to set up shop in South Waziristan. It would defintely make it easier for him to re-up.
p.s. if you are wondering why this whole post underlined, the answer is fucking computers.
You know I started writing this sarcastically, but now I really do love links, im gonna do this all the time.

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