Or rather; I could afford Adbusters if I stopped smoking weed and paying rent on my extremely humble domicile.

Seem like a lot to you? It sure does to me.

But every now and then I am at someone’s house, squatting above a bidet, thumbing through it’s lovingly crafted pages as I fill the pristine bowl with waste when my peepers alight on an interesting piece. And you know what I think? I think, “Jesus, why didn’t we call COOL’EH Adbusters and write articles that all cetered around one coherent theme that was easy for smart people to grasp onto without feeling stupid”.

Plus, unlike Harpers it has really good images. People like those, hence the placement of somesort of randomly selected and barely related piece of YouTubery in every post.

The author of the piece I linked above makes a good point though; how can so many people intentionally acquire all the cultural signifiers of a hipster but claim not to be one. In my entire life I have only met one person who referred to themselves as a hipster. The others were all amazed that any one would think they were hipsters just because of everything about them.

“Hipster! Hell no, I just like skinny jeans, white sun glasses, ironic t’s, red suspenders and track bikes with wicker baskets on the handlebars. Can’t talk now, I’m on my way to see Steve Aoki open for The Bloody Beetroots at McCarren Pool. Ta-Da!”

Hey, how about some Lou Dobbs? And let’s combine his inanity with something that actually matters, like the toll the US War on Drugs takes on it’s neighbors as well as it’s own community. What does Lou think? Hmmm…maybe…seal the border!

*Daily Double sound effect*

Rip “Believe it or not” Ripley

This entry was posted on Wednesday, July 30th, 2008 at 4:56 am and is filed under Guns n' Ammo, Rippyertonianism, YouTubery, caucasian-interest-piece. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.